


Kianis and the Seven Shards

by Drasi



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Memories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26558065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drasi/pseuds/Drasi
Summary: As Kianis, the Warrior of Light, begins to save the First from the scourge of Light, the toll it takes on her soul affords Ardbert glimpses into her past on the Source.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. The First Shard

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is meant to be a self-indulgent exploration of some headcanons I have for my main and how she is connected to my alts. It’s also the first time I’m writing for FFXIV, so I invite you all to enjoy this odd little journey with me.

How many years had it been since he’d last seen the stars shimmering in the night sky? Ardbert’s gaze drifted from Kianis’s lifted hand towards the endless sea of stars that had finally emerged from their shroud of light. He could have stood there forever, drinking in every twinkling light had it not been for a little something strange that caught his attention. 

While everyone’s gaze was taking in the night sky above them, their hero of a Mystel had lowered her hand, eyes closed and palm over her chest. While he was certainly concerned for Kianis’s well-being after such a feat, he couldn’t help but wonder how nobody else saw the glow of light emanating from within her. He squinted, unsure if the change in scenery was playing tricks on his eyes or if what he saw was real.

A shard of...something was drifting away from that light, flickering in the new darkness. Ardbert did the first thing he could think of as it floated towards him: he reached out a gloved hand and grabbed it. It felt warm even through the glove, but as he opened his hand to look at this odd little shard, an overwhelming sense of frustration and shame washed over him. An image took form in the shard, and, swallowing back the rush of emotions, he focused on the scene settling within the shard until suddenly he was there.

——

_ Hands clutched tightly around an old wooden bow, panicked breaths filled her lungs. Curled up as small as she could be in the tangled roots of a tree, her eyes were squeezed shut as a commotion took place in front of her. _

_ “You would dare harm a sprout like her, you salt-licking goobbues!? A half-witted dodo has more sense than the likes of you!” A smash and some pained yelps filled the air as she opened her eyes to see her two hume assailants stumbling away from a violet-haired dwarf wielding an axe that was easily as large as she was. “And don’t ever let me find your sorry arses ever again!” _

_ Opening her mouth, no sound came out. She was used to it by now, but gods she wished she could at least thank the dwarf that had turned her fierce gaze upon her. _

_ “And you! What were you thinking?!” The dwarf offered a helping hand that gestured with impatience when it wasn’t immediately taken. Just as soon as the hand was grabbed and she was on her feet, the dwarf had her back on the ground with that large axe aimed at her throat. _

_ “You’ve got some shite balance for a kitty. What’s the Adventurer’s Guild thinkin’ these days, eh? Lettin’ just anyone in! Bah!” The dwarf spat. “And they gave you a bow? They got their heads so far up their arses they can’t even glimpse what you really are.” _

_ The dwarf raised her axe. Eyes closed and every muscle screaming to move, the hit never landed on her. A  _ chop!  _ in the grass beside her - the dwarf hadn’t been aiming for her at all. She opened her eyes to see her bow straightened, the string split by an axe still buried in the ground. _

_ “Here.” The dwarf picked up the broken bow and offered it to her. “You’ve got magic about to burst from every fingertip. This stick’ll serve you better as a crook than a bow.” _

_ A shaking hand took the bow and clutched it close to her chest. She could only imagine just how furious the Archers’ Guild would be with her, but even she couldn’t deny just how much better the bow felt in her hands now that a string wasn’t bending it. Natural, just like it was supposed to be. _

_ “What? Not even a thank you? I just saved your sorry arse, remember?” _

_ She opened her mouth, but not a sound came out. She settled for a nod of thanks instead. _

_ “Oh.” The dwarf’s brows went from furrowed in anger to raised in recognition. “I see - no voice, eh?” A little shake of her head confirmed what the dwarf suspected. “Seems to be a problem with some of the new adventurers. No voice - no memories, too, I’m assuming. Calamity really did a number on you lot, but don’t worry,” she picked up her axe and swung it back to rest on her shoulder, “it’ll come back to you eventually. Don’t want those neck muscles gettin’ too strong from all that nodding, am I right?” _

_ The joke was met with a blank stare. _

_ “Bah, all you new kids have no sense of humor. Too busy startin’ to save the world to take a joke or two, but remember this, New Kitty: you’re the only you, and it’d be a helluva waste to throw yourself away for somethin’ that ain’t worth it. Pick your battles wisely afore they pick you.” _

——

The shard remained warm in Ardbert’s hand as his consciousness returned to reality. He blinked and looked around - the sky was still full of stars and Kianis’s companions were still staring in awe. No time had passed at all. The glow emanating from within Kianis remained, but it grew dimmer with each passing second. Without a second thought, Ardbert held the shard out towards the light where it gently floated back into the glow.


	2. Chapter 2

“Wasn’t he green the last time I saw him?”

Despite destroying a Lightwarden and restoring some of the night sky, the hero of the day was spending the rest of her evening tending to her peculiar feathered friend as the festivities carried on in the rest of the Crystarium. Her black ears twitched at the sound of Ardbert’s voice, and she turned to face him with the same warm smile she had for everyone.

“So you do remember this troublesome beast?”

“Hard to forget that flurry of feathers and claws.” Ardbert scowled at the now light blue bird. For a moment he could’ve sworn it locked its eye on him, but the moment was lost when Kianis turned back around to wrap her arms around its long neck.

“I can assure you he’s mellowed out quite a bit, even if he does still snap and scratch at some folk. Usually they deserve it, though.”

Silence fell over them again, that comfortable silence they’d slowly learned to enjoy with each other since the first night she’d seen him. At first it was unnerving, but there was comfort to be found in the fact that if he spoke, she would always, always answer.

So he watched as she finished preparing his special feed topped with a nice treat and deftly brushed his beak away as she set it out for him. Her tail swished back and forth and back and forth behind her as she worked her way through light blue feathers, checking for anything loose and setting it aside for later. Someone would find a use for them, probably her with all he’d seen of her crafting ability.

Old memories of an old friend played in the back of his mind as he watched. Dark feathers and a much heftier body, long flights across distant lands and a bond that still made his heart ache even a century later. He could see his love for Seto in the gentle care Kianis took of her own friend. The motions weren’t all that different - he could almost feel Seto’s warmth in his hand every time Kianis absentmindedly gave her own bird a pet as she groomed him.

“Does he have a name?” Ardbert broke the silence. “I mean, your bird. He’s got a name, right?”

“Ha.”

“Don’t laugh. I’m serious - he’s got a name, right?”

“I’m not laughing at all! His name is Ha and he’s a chocobo.” The bird lifted his head and gave Kianis a firm nudge with his beak as if to back up her point.

“I- Ha? You named your cho-co-bo... Ha?” The word for the bird’s species felt ridiculous on his tongue, the name itself even more so. He couldn’t help but start chuckling at it.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Ardbert. I was exhausted when I met him.” Her ears drooped and her tail drifted into wider, quicker swoops. “I was on the verge of falling asleep on my feet, so I named him the first thing I could think of: the word to make him go.”

“Ha?”

“Ha - but louder and more purposeful. Luckily he’s smart enough to know the difference between his name and his commands.”

“Lucky indeed…”

The conversation returned to silence once more, punctuated by the crunching of Ha as he eagerly devoured his meal. Kianis’s tail relaxed back into its slow swish as the distant sounds of the ongoing festivities drifted into the stable. Ardbert closed his eyes and settled into the moment, grasping for that same calm that Kianis seemed to feel but somehow falling short. It wasn’t long before she finished packing the grooming supplies the Temenos Rookery had graciously lent her. With a final rub of Ha’s beak, she turned to head out of the stables.

“Kianis, wait.”

It was the most satisfying thing in all the world to see her stop and turn at his words, but as much as he wanted to revel in the moment, he wasn’t sure how long he could keep quiet about what he’d seen or when he’d get another good chance to speak about it.

“I...You’re feeling okay, aren’t you?” Damn it. His arms crossed over his chest as he cursed himself for not sorting out the right way to ask about it beforehand.

“As fine as I can be, all things considered.” Ardbert could see her deflection coming in the way that her brows furrowed. “But what about you? Are you okay?”

“Fine. Perfectly fine aside from...gods, how do I explain this?” His jaw tightened and his eyes closed in frustration, but Kianis waited patiently for him to speak up again. Suddenly he could feel all the words at the tip of his tongue, and when his eyes reopened all those words came spilling out.

“Kianis, I saw something today while you were doing...whatever it was that made the night sky come back. At first it was just some little shard of light, but I grabbed it and I was somewhere else. I was in a forest, scared out of my wits while some angry, purple-haired dwarf fought off some men. I was holding a bow, and after she knocked me down, she cut the string of the bow and said it would serve me better as a crook and I-”

The widening of Kianis’s eyes told him everything he needed to know. In the light of the lanterns he could’ve sworn there were tears beginning to brim in her blue eyes, but they were wiped away before they could fall.

“It was you, wasn’t it? A memory of yours?”

Kianis nodded. “Not a great one, but certainly an important one.”

“I couldn’t - you couldn’t talk, couldn’t remember things either.”

“I couldn’t do a lot of things when I was first starting out as an adventurer,” Kianis began to wring her hands, “especially handling a bow.” Her gaze drifted off to the side as if she herself was falling back into that old memory. “But it doesn’t matter now. That lalaf- no, dwarf was right. I was much better suited to Conjury.”

“Right, right. Not really my business to pry, is it? But-”

“How did you see that memory again?”

“Well, it wasn’t on purpose, if that’s what you’re really asking. I just saw a little shard and...grabbed it.” Ardbert shrugged. “Next thing I knew, I was in that forest...but I put the shard back afterwards! I promise.”

“Oh, of course. I just…” Her hands stopped wringing themselves to rest on her hips as she leaned a little to the side. “The how of it all is beyond me, but so is all this bringing the night sky back stuff.”

“Will you tell them? The Exarch? Your friends? Maybe they can-“

“They’ve got plenty of things on their mind right now, Ardbert,” Kianis said as she stood up straight again, her face settling back into her usual warm smile. “What’s one memory against an entire night sky? It seems harmless enough, and if it happens again you can just grab it and put it right back.” Decision made, she gave a confident nod before turning around and hastening out of the stable with a wave over her shoulder.

“Kianis, I don’t think that’s-“ Ardbert stopped his words, realizing that for once she wasn’t going to turn around and listen to him.


	3. The Second Shard

Nothing more was said of the shard nor the memory within it, and after Kianis’s reaction to the conversation Ardbert knew better than to push her for more answers. Whatever it was, though, he could at least tell that she was brilliant at hiding that anything was wrong with her. Her companions were none the wiser, and she continued on her journey with that practiced calm and kindness he’d seen so much of on the Source. 

With each fight he watched her carefully, though, especially with sin eaters. While the frustration of being unable to lend his own blade to her fight was eating him up on the inside, he could at the very least look out for another shard should one break off. He wasn’t sure just how often she could see him, so he tucked himself away just out of her view, only appearing when it seemed she needed words of encouragement or simply an extra pair of ears to listen to her. 

As he stood in Grünes Licht - no, that wasn’t the name anymore, it was Lyhe Ghiah now - anticipation filled his every breath. She made defeating the Fae king look effortless, though, and as she reached out once more to break the oppressive sky and reveal the twinkling stars of the night, all was well. No shard, just that soft glow emanating from her as the Light settled once more in its new host. 

Something still felt wrong, though. A nagging unease hung in the back of his mind as he followed Kianis back to Lyda Lhran. It wasn’t just the threat of Eulmoran soldiers making their way into Il Mheg. No, it was the Light. It had had plenty of time to fade after it had settled within Kianis, but it was still there, and as the fae folk descended upon the Eulmoran soldiers to lend their aid, the moment Ardbert was dreading arrived.

A shard, light blue and beautiful and so, so bright drifted away from Kianis towards his outstretched hand. He took a deep breath and prepared himself for whatever this shard carried. As he wrapped his hand around it, bittersweet love and concern filled him up. Staring deep into the shard, he let the image of the stone-walled room overtake him until the vibrant colors of Il Mheg and the din of Fae fighting foe faded away. 

——

_Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the uniformed elven man towering over her with a welcoming smile. She couldn’t help but smile back in the warm glow of the torchlit room._

_“As always, it’s a pleasure to see you here, my dear friend, although the reason we summoned you is not so pleasant.” The smile on his face faded. “If you would follow me, they’re in the infirmary.”_

_The world blurred, steps skipped. A blink and she was out of the room and rubbing her gloved hands together in the cold. Another blink and she was staring at the light blue hair of the elven man as he confidently strode through the small fort. He nodded to a group of soldiers as they passed before sneaking a glance back at her._

_“She’ll be just fine - our chirurgeons are taking good care of her. Nothing they haven’t seen before, I promise.” That warm smile again, another skipped heartbeat._

_A blink and the world distorted itself again, snow-covered stone walls warped into curtains surrounding beds in an infirmary. A gentle squeeze on the shoulder and the elven man’s voice in her ear._

_“Go on, Kianis. They’ve both been asking for you.” The hand dropped to the small of her back to give her a nudge forward as the world faded out of view, focus completely lost._

_Then everything was back. A fireplace lit the room, bright but somehow not warm enough. She perched on a stool with her hands neatly clasped and resting atop her knees. The mystel sound asleep on the bed was pale. From a distance she could have easily been mistaken for a very cold Kianis with her black hair and light grey highlights, but her hair was a bit too long, her nose far too dark, and the stripes on the sides of her face were wrong._

_“She’s been asking about you every time she wakes up, you know.” A young male mystel clad in white armor sat on another stool beside the bed. With his dark hair and concerned eyes, it was obvious that he was the brother of the girl resting quietly before him. The slits in his blue eyes widened a little as he turned to look at Kianis with an exasperated gesture towards his sleeping sister. “She still believes despite everything we’ve told her, and now she’s gone and done this to herself.”_

_Her hands clasped a little tighter before relaxing and reaching out to grab one of his gloved hands. Her mouth opened, but though the words were in her head, she struggled to find the right way to shape them with her voice. She settled for a squeeze of his hand instead and closed her mouth._

_“‘_ If the Elementals don’t have the answers we seek, then maybe the stars will!’ _” He shook his head. “A note, Kianis! She left a note and ran off and - and...and I thought I lost her. She was fortunate Ser Haurchefant’s men found her, but what happens when she’s on her feet again?”_

_His silence settled heavy on her shoulders. Anticipation filled her as she watched his jaw set, his breathing slowed. The crackling of the fireplace seemed to grow louder with every heartbeat until she felt she might be deafened by it if he didn’t speak up soon._

_“She loves you so much. Every tale of your adventures inspires her, and that’s the problem.” He sighed and pulled his hand out of Kianis’s light grip. “We’re not like you. You can take a hit and get back up like it’s nothing, but us? One wrong step, one bad spell or one wound in the wrong place and we’re done. You are dangerous, Kianis. Not just because you defeat terrible monsters, but because you inspire others to think they can, too.”_

_“S-sorry…” That word was familiar, easy enough for her to form as she tried to process the sting of his words. She buried her face in her hands, but there were no tears to hide, only eyes that were so very, very weary._

_“I want to believe in her so much, Kianis. I want to believe that she can solve Calamity Sickness, that she can bring her own memories back and yours, but time is her real enemy, not the world around her, yet she insists it is otherwise. Patience is the cure, not the stars nor the Elementals._

_“I know you’re not going to stop your adventures. I’m not asking for that. I’m just asking that you understand the impact you have on those around you, both good and bad.”_

——

When the memory dissolved into the real world around Ardbert, the first thing he saw was Kianis staring back at him. Her round blue eyes widened as she looked down to see the shard sitting in the palm of his hand. His hand closed around it, but instead of returning it to whence it came, he held onto it and watched as the Warrior of Darkness was whisked away in the commotion with one less memory to carry. He tucked the shard safely away in a pocket - even his ghostly form seemed to be able to carry a little memory shard, at least - and mulled over the memory as he began the familiar journey back to the Crystarium. There were far too many questions he had for the one friend who could hear him.


End file.
